Helen Cooke

Ssssshhhhhh! It’s a Secret: Why Students Are So Reluctant to Be Open About Their Disability With Employers

Posted on March 20, 2015 by Helen Cooke

When I was applying for graduate jobs I clearly remember filling in one of the application forms that asked me: do you consider yourself to have a disability? There was a box to tick if you did. I had no idea why they wanted to know and my immediate assumption was that if I ticked the box, they wouldn’t want me.

I turned to my mother for advice; she said: ‘you don’t consider yourself to have a disability so don’t tick it’. And that was true – I didn’t consider myself to be disabled; it wasn’t a label I used. Being in a wheelchair had rarely prevented me from doing the things that I wanted to do. However I can’t hide my disability from an interviewer and I was concerned that if I didn’t tick the box they would view me as dishonest. I ticked the box.

And here we are, 20 years later, with students having the same concerns about openness. In our recent GreatWithDisability.com survey over three quarters of respondents said that they were concerned about being open about their disability during the recruitment process. The greatest concern was, not surprisingly, being discriminated against. This was closely followed by being perceived as a ‘hassle’ due to needing support or a change to the usual process that other, non-disabled, candidates didn’t require.

The reason that this is significant is because as long as these individuals are fearful of being open they will continue to find it difficult to find employment. Their fear will either prevent them from applying for a job or they will apply and, as a result of not being open, will not get the support they require that allows them to show the strengths and skills that the employer is looking for.

Although the survey found that over three quarters of those who responded were concerned about being open, it also found that over half could see the benefits of being so. The biggest perceived benefits were being able to be honest with the employer from the start of the relationship and obtaining the support that they required. It is clear that whilst there is a lot of fear about openness, these individuals do desperately want to be open and believe that it the right thing to do.

So how do you encourage these individuals to overcome their concerns and be open about their disability? Employers are by far the best placed to do this. They need to let disabled graduates know that they are wanted and that they are still wanted even if they have a disability. Employers need to talk about issues such as the support they can offer both during the recruitment process and once someone has joined the organisation, about their inclusive culture and their Disability Staff Networks. Most importantly they need to share the personal stories of their employees who have been open about their disability during the recruitment process, who were successful in obtaining employment and who continue to enjoy a successful career within the organisation. The profiles such as those on www.greatwithdisability.com are excellent examples of where organisations have done just this.

In the last decade there has been a 265% increase in the number of students on campus who receive the disabled students’ allowance. In 2014, 10.7% of graduates in the UK had a disability and yet a very small proportion are successful in finding employment. Unless this issue of anxiety over openness is addressed, it will continue to be difficult for these talented people to find employment. Not only is this a criminal waste of their talent, employers are also missing out on individuals who could make a difference to their organisation.

Wheelchairs and sand don’t go. At all.

Posted on February 26, 2015 by Helen Cooke

I love the sea. I could sit by the sea and listen to the sound of the waves for hours and hours. I love swimming in the sea and I love sailing, probably due to the freedom that it provides. The irony is how damn difficult it is to actually get close to the sea since, as any wheelchair user knows, wheelchairs don’t work on the sand. At all.

I’ve only wheeled along a beach once. It was on the hard sand on Vancouver Island and was the most magical experience ever. It was everything that I had expected it to be, including very romantic!

I wasn’t expecting to be able to wheel on the beach here in Abu Dhabi but I wanted to get as close as possible. There was a board walk that went some way toward the sea however where the boardwalk ended and the sand started was as far as I could go.

Michael, ever the optimist, said I’ll push you.

‘You can’t” I said, looking at the very soft sand. “It just doesn’t work.”

“Of course it will; it’ll be fine”

“No, it won’t; it won’t work. You go. I’ll just stay here”.

“ It’ll be fine; let’s give it a go.”

We were going to be here for a while at this rate so I decided that actions speak louder of words, so I said: “ Okay – let’s give it a go”.

It didn’t work. Not one little bit. Michael couldn’t push me through the sand; not even an inch. It was comical; we fell about laughing. Not to be defeated his next suggestion was to drag me backwards in my chair instead. I suggested that he carried my chair to where we wanted to be and then carried me. Which is what we did.

For the second time in my life I found hard sand that I could wheel along. Once again I found it magical and very romantic. I could have wheeled along the shoreline all day and into the night. However our tennis court booking beckoned – one clearly couldn’t be romantic for long!

However before we left the beach another guest approached us. He was an amateur photographer and asked if he could take some photographs of us. Never one to be camera shy we naturally obliged. His photos will be uploaded as soon as they are received. In the meantime, our own efforts are attached.

‘Inspirational’: Overused and Incredibly Patronising (as published in the Huffington Post)

Posted on February 24, 2015 by Helen Cooke

The majority of my friends work and quite a few of them run their own successful businesses. They juggle their careers with their children and families. Many ski, cycle, swim and keep fit by going to the gym. They travel for work and they travel for pleasure. They can, and do, cook, write, play in orchestras, sing in choirs and produce amazing works of art. They are my friends and I think that they are fantastic, amazing people and I tell them so. But inspirational? I have never told them they are inspirational.

And yet I don’t even do half of these things and people do decide to label me as inspirational. Really? Do they honestly think I am?

Amy Purdy, a Paralympian snowboarder turned model and dancer thanks to her stint in America’s version of Strictly, was the star of Toyota’s Super Bowl advert, in which she displayed all of her impressive talents to the backdrop of Muhammad Ali’s “How Great I Am” speech. Since the airing of the ad there has been much discussion about how ‘inspirational’ she is. But is ‘inspirational’ really the right word to use? Has she inspired you to do something? Or is it more that you admire what she has achieved? Or think that she is amazing?

When I am running my business, which requires travelling throughout the country and abroad, or indulging in a holiday adventure or even just staying fit I am not doing anything more or different to many other people. The only difference is that I am in a wheelchair, which means some people find it inspirational. But do they really? Maybe it’s just the first word that has comes into their head; it’s an easy word to use, they’ve heard it before, and so they use it, too. However what I am doing isn’t inspirational. It may be impressive – indeed anyone skiing or snowboarding the moguls is impressive, interesting even. But I strongly argue that it is not inspirational.

I argue against the use of this word simply because it has been over used, particularly where disabled people are concerned. It is deployed whenever someone with a disability achieves something that is perceived to have been a challenge, whether it was or not. In reality much of what other people see as some great feat is just us doing what we do. I do all the things that you do: drive, ski, swim, travel, cycle. I have always done them as a person in a wheelchair, since I have never walked. It was no more challenging for me to learn how to do these things than it was for anyone else. It is therefore no more inspirational for me to do them than anyone else.

Personally I find the use of the word patronising and, when used, it deters me from wishing to engage any further with that person. I prefer to spend time with people who see ‘me’ for who I am, not those who would see me as a person in a wheelchair. And by calling me ‘inspirational’ you have identified yourself as the latter. If you want to compliment me, find another way, another word. As long as it isn’t ‘plucky’ or ‘brave’ two other words that people have used to describe me recently, I think you will be on safe ground.

Instead you should save that word for someone who truly does inspire you, whoever that may be.

What I’m doing isn’t inspirational; it is simply me, living my life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/helen-cooke/disabled-people-inspirational_b_6719182.html

Our Abu Dhabi hotel: all very accessible (with the help of a butler)

Posted on February 20, 2015 by Helen Cooke

Last week New York, this week Abu Dhabi. But for a holiday rather than work. It’s not necessarily a destination of choice however I am enroute to see my sister who is in Kuala Lumpa, and I wanted sunshine, hence us being here.

We are staying at the St. Regis Saadiyat Island Resort and it’s utterly luxurious – we even have a butler! It was chosen on the recommendation of my sister who stayed here last Easter; not only did she say that it was a great place to stay, she also said it was totally accessible and on that recommendation I booked it. And so far so good.

Usually I look into every single detail concerning access possible and only book it when I am totally convinced that it will be okay. And then I still turn up to find places to be inaccessible – gravel driveways, steps into the apartment, flights of stairs to the swimming pool, doorways too narrow, and so the list goes on. So maybe this will be my new approach – take someone’s word for it and hope for the best.

Okay – so it’s not perfect but it’s not far off; there are a few challenges in the bathroom, and I can’t reach the hanging rail in the wardrobe, but it’s nothing I can’t live with for a week. And when one has a butler at one’s beck and call one knows help is at hand should one require it. It’s definitely the way forward – even if it is frightfully expensive…..

My night on Broadway (with no concessions)

Posted on February 13, 2015 by Helen Cooke

You know what they say – all work and no play…. so last night, after a particularly tough day, I headed to Broadway to see ‘Beautiful – the Carole King story’.

I had booked my ticket last night – just one, and clearly it needed to be accessible. I was offered a seat in the back row of the orchestra. Utter horror – why on earth would I want to sit with the orchestra???? And then discovered that the orchestra was the same as the stalls in the UK – so clearly all okay. Unlike the UK, however, no concession was on offer. I’ve always said I don’t expect a concession, or indeed even want one. However when it’s not on offer I suddenly realised how much I appreciated it. What? You mean I actually have to pay full price just like everyone else? Obviously I did.

Did I mention I had had a tough day? So I decided a glass of fizz was in order. I took a cab from my hotel down to Broadway and asked them to drop me at the Hilton. I was dropped on the corner of 43^rd and Broadway and it was …. bedlam! It was utterly crazy. People everywhere. Taking photos. Police. Traffic. Whistles blowing. I hadn’t remembered this from my last visit.

I finally found some tranquillity inside the Hilton before making my way to the Stephen Sondheim Theatre. The service was exemplary. I was escorted to a lift – which was as big as a good size bedroom – and jumped the queue at the bar before taking my seat. (Being British I did apologise to those I jumped in front of).

Beautiful is amazing. Utterly fantastic. I got lost in the music – I laughed and I cried (that tough day again). Go and see it – it was wonderful. And if you can see it on Broadway…..

Food. Glorious Food. (so long as there are no steps)

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Helen Cooke

I have been in New York a little over 48 hours and I have never seen so many eating places in my life. From recognisable chains to restaurants, delis to coffee shops, super markets to street vendors – you can get any type of food that you could possibly desire all day and all night. That said it’s not been as accessible as I had remembered it to be. Maybe that’s no bad thing on account of my waistline – not least that lunch at my client’s offices is utterly delicious. And it’s free!

Having wheeled all the way down 7^th Avenue to Times Square and back up 5^th Avenue on Sunday I had struggled to find many places that I could a) get in and b) wanted to eat in. There was a Thai close by but it had a large step, as did a Sushi Bar and an American type diner. I always thought the States was totally accessible – clearly not.

However I had spotted a lovely little Italian that I went to last night. I was offered a complimentary glass of prosecco on arrival – always a good start! They were wonderfully friendly and very happy to do me a half portion of the seafood pasta which was utterly divine. I was very happy there on my own with just my kindle for company.

On the way home I popped into a nearby deli that I had spotted on my way home yesterday. I wanted to pick up some fresh fruit for breakfast – how come it always tastes better when someone else has cut it up for you?!

New York City – here I come!

Posted on February 8, 2015 by Helen Cooke

Am off to NYC for a week of work. It’s been a long time coming but it’s finally here.

It didn’t get off to the best of starts when Delta had no record of my flight booking. I had called to confirm my access requirements – didn’t expect to have to confirm my flight. Found out that I needed to call Virgin instead as it is Virgin who is operating the flight. Virgin tried to send me back to Delta. Welcome to my world….

I turned up at the check in desk just to confirm they would be expecting me at the gate and it was as if this was the first they knew that I would require any assistance at all. Really pleased I spent all that time on the phone. Particularly when there was further confusion at the gate with initially no one to assist me and then more people buzzing around than was necessary.

Finally I was on board, 2 seats to myself, and complimentary fizz courtesy of Premium Economy. They had run out of my lunch choice however I was offered the First Class option instead – don’t mind if I do.

The assistance onboard was exemplary, on arrival my wheelchair was at the door of the aircraft – always a relief, my driver was waiting for me in the arrivals lounge and I was in my hotel room within the hour.

The hotel staff were as helpful as they always are in the States; nothing is ever too much trouble. My room was fine other than the fact that I really felt like a bath however my room only had a shower. They could give me an accessible room with a bath in a couple of days time if I wished. And they would help me move my things if I wanted them too. I expect by then my desire for a bath will have waned but for now it’s good to know that the option is there.

From an accessibility point of view it’s not bad at all. Not least that the shower comes with a shower curtain (see my previous blogs). My only gripes were that the mirror in the bathroom was at the standard height so I can’t actually see into it. And where the iron was fixed on the wall in my wardrobe there is now limited space to hang things. This was due to the fact that they have lowered the hanging rail which, in itself, is a bonus.

Thought I may as well ask if they could so anything about the iron and the mirror and was plenty surprised to return to my room after a wheel down to Times Square to find it had been moved. The mirror is clearly a bigger challenge – not least that it has a light in it. Was worth asking.

And so ends my first day in New York. It’s 6.30pm and the jet lag has kicked in. Am off to bed. Have a nice day!

5 good (and not so good) things about the Park Plaza Westminster Hotel

Posted on January 29, 2015 by Helen Cooke

As you enter the Park Plaza Hotel you know it is a classy joint; I’m not sure why, but it just has that feel. As I entered I was directed up to the first floor to the vast check in desk where, heavens above, there was a queue! Only a queue of 2 but still. I had taken my place in the queue, honestly I had, however was quickly directed to Guest Services who were apparently only to happy to check me in. And – no queues! What a bonus.

That was the first good thing about the Park Plaza Hotel. The second was that my room door had a sign on it saying that it was an automatic door. Hotel room doors are usually very very heavy which isn’t good particularly since I usually have a bag on my knee to contend with as well. I am not sure that the automatic door was actually working however it definitely opened very easily – second good thing.

The third ‘good thing’ was the bathroom and in particular the fact that the shower actually came with a shower curtain unlike last week’s hotel. And the fourth was that the wardrobe had a lowered hanging rail that I could actually reach.

The service at the bar was the last ‘good thing’. I really fancied some nibbles with my glass of vino – rude not to, however the mini bar was devoid of anything savoury. It may just be me but I don’t tend to eat Toblerone with my wine. Room service were more than happy to deliver some bar snacks to my room however they advised that they were quite busy and suggested that it may be quicker to go down to the bar myself. I don’t think they usually provide complimentary nibbles to guests to take up to their room yet the very glamorous, and helpful, women at the door was more than happy to help. I returned to my room with quite a feast – the fifth ‘ good thing.

And then I began to notice all the things that weren’t quite right…..the first was that the bathroom door didn’t open fully. You couldn’t come out of the bathroom and into the bedroom as you couldn’t get passed the door. Instead you had to do a manoeuvre in the entrance hall, pull the bathroom door closed and then enter back into the room. Hassle.

Secondly, the shower seat that looked great was slippery when wet and a total hazard. And, thirdly, the towel rail was way too high.

The fourth ‘bad’ thing was the lighting was appalling. There was no option for bright lighting in either the bedroom or the bathroom. Not great as I was going to bed but an utter disaster in the morning. Not only could I not see to put on my make up and ended up looking like coco the clown but also I couldn’t see to dry my hair.

Which brings me to the hair dryer. It was an ‘eco’ hairdryer. For the love of god what on earth is an ‘eco’ hairdryer??? I’m all for recycling, switching off lights, economising, saving the environment, etc etc When it comes to drying my hair, however, I want a top of the range, full blasting, turbo powered hair dryer which will tackle my curls full on. Anything less is a total waste of space. This fifth and final point is by far the worst.

Would I stay here again? Definitely not for the room. The bar snacks on the other hand could swing it.

The Tower Hotel: room for improvement

Posted on January 15, 2015 by Helen Cooke

Over the next 7 weeks I am going to be staying in 6 different hotels. Some for work, some for pleasure. What they will all have in common is that they wont fully meet my needs. I know this as I have yet to stay in a hotel that has. That may be because my standards are outrageously high but also because there’s always something, how can I say it, not quite right…

Last night was the first hotel; The Tower by Guoman at Tower Bridge. The main entrance wasn’t accessible. Instead you had to use a side entrance. I think the cab driver was more put out about this than I was. I’m still just grateful that they have an accessible entrance!

My room had a ‘wheel in shower’; I hate wheel in showers. You can wheel into them – clearly, and I then transfer to a shower seat. They usually flood all over the rest of the bathroom not least because the shower curtain is either non-existent or not long enough. And I then have to try to mop the floor up with the towels as I hate having to wheel in the wet.

This one was non-existent. So next morning the shower flooded and I duly tried to clear up the water with towels. The towels that, I may add, were neatly stacked on a very high towel rail.

Breakfast was a buffet and I think you had to help yourself to tea and coffee however one of the staff offered to get my tea for me. It finally arrived and was very very stewed. I had to say something. So I was brought another cup of tea. This one resembled a cup of hot milk. So I said something again. They finally brought me a tea pot and tea bags so I could do it myself. Which I did. Perfectly.

My plan was to wheel to the conference I was attending however I was prepared for the concierge to say otherwise as people are always so cautious. However I was pleasantly surprised. There was a bit of an incline but he thought I’d be okay. And he was right – I was. The challenge was negotiating it with my overnight bag on my knee. Particularly crossing the road. I felt such a kid when I took a guy up on his offer to help me across the road. Not by holding my hand, I may add; he kindly carried my bag for me.

As I said, there were a few things that were…. not quite right. Let’s see how hotel number 2 fairs.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Posted on December 21, 2014 by Helen Cooke

We were at a party last night with loads of people that we didn’t know. We hadn’t gate crashed , obviously, it was more that they are ‘new’ friends that we have made / are making as a result of Roseanna starting her new school. These are the parents of her friends and they are really really lovely people.

We’d been there for a while and the drink was flowing however I was stone cold sober as I was driving to the next party (don’t you just hate 2 parties in one night!). I’d met some great people, had some lovely conversations and it was almost time to go when someone said: Can I ask you a personal question?

My heart kind of sank. We were in the kitchen, all the best people end up in the kitchen at parties, and there were about 7-8 other people there. I could guess what was coming next. However he had seemed such a great guy that I was surprised that he would be so …. Crass as to as such a question.

“Go ahead” I said.

“Can you pull a wheelie? He asked.

Didn’t see that one coming did I? Clearly I obliged. Even threw in a few twirls for good measure. Well, he did ask!